Aneya26
There once was a fella named Sam
Who loved someone much more than ham
Some thought he was gay,
But what the hey!
"Happy is just what I am"
Araedhel
Two Hobbits came out of the Shire
To Mount Doom, unless Tolkien's a liar
And when they got there
Sauron cried, 'It's not fair!
They're throwing my Ring in the Fire!'
January 2002
Bad Warg Mama
I've been to the movie four times,
It fills my head with dumb rhymes
I'd better stop going
but the movie's still showing
Excess is a blessing sometimes.
January 2002
Once in a land called the Shire,
Old Sharkey did try to retire.
The hobbits won't let him
His habits were too grim
'sides, Wormtongue made him expire.
January 2002
Once Sam stung a big nasty spider
Stuck his sword right up inside her.
came out with a sploosh
of venom and goosh
I wish that that star glass'd fried her.
January 2002
That Boromir dude was so fine,
I really wished he was mine,
but now he is dead
Anduin's his bed,
On my desktop I'll make him a shrine.
January 2002
Then came the hobbit named Fred
Who remained in the Shire instead
of going with Frodo
he was such a dodo
He almost ended up dead.
January 2002
The handsome elf called Legolas
Has such a cute little boy a**
oops can't say that here
It's not nice I fear
So don't finish this poem, O, alas.
January 2002
There once was a hobbit named Pip
Who decided to go on a trip
He hung out with Strider
was a Shadowfax rider
What's a pint? Can I have a sip?
January 2002
That Classic Hobbit Limerick
(and others)
There once was a hobbit from Bree
Who sat on Celebsul's knee
She said with a grin
as she wiped off her chin,
Sorry mate. Must Dash. Need to pee!!
Or
There once was a hobbit from Bree
Who sat on Celebsul's knee
She said with a grin
as she wiped off her chin,
Oh my word, he's built like a tree!!!!!
Or
There once was a hobbit from Bree
Who sat on Celebsul's knee
She said with a grin
as she wiped off her chin,
OK then, who's next after me!!!
There was an elf at the Troll
Whose jokes made everyone roll
They laughed till they cried
and the warg nearly died
but she merely fetched up in a bowl
The Burpin' Troll landlady said
I think there's an elf in my bed
Oh my, goodness me!!
Not one elf, but three!!
And Yggy blushed all scarlet red!!!
Feel like dancing with elves and mice,
Two drinks are good but three is nice!
Cat in the kitchen, warg by the fire,
Can you give me more rhymes to inspire?
From The Burping Troll - March 2002
Bunnie Bugs
Frodo, Pippin, Merry and Sam
From scary black riders they ran and they ran.
When they got to Bree,
'Twas no Gandalf to see,
So they said, "Well, let's drink while we can!"
February 2002
Elijah Wood landed the part
By carefully crafting his art.
He'd not yet read the book,
But he sure had the look,
And later, gave Frodo his heart.
January 2002
Elijah and Orli, have fun!
Crazed Naz-girls have you on the run.
But beware! Heed their shrieks:
For they like to pinch cheeks,
And that could mean your face or your bum!
January 2002
There once was a house at Bag End
Where Frodo and Sam time could spend.
When Rosie moved in
Frodo said with a grin,
'I'll leave you two alone now, my friend!'
January 2002
This Pippin's a cheerful young bloke,
'Tho fun at him some like to poke.
But if Jackson holds true
Our Pip will shine through,
For in silver and black, he's no joke.
January 2002
Celebsul
Bilbo said "I am giving you Sting.
Let me look one last time at the ring"
Frodo said "No, I won't"
Bilbo said "If you don't,
I'll turn into a horrible thing."
"No you can't" Frodo said "It's not true."
"Yes I can" Bilbo said, and he grew
all ugly and cruel.
Frodo clapped, "Gee, that's cool.
Here's the ring, now let me look like you."
January 2002
Collaborations
The Other Troll Landlady
The other Troll landlady found
in her bed not an elf but a hound
Golden ring at hand
"Help! This is my end!"
For eternal life to him he wants her to be bound.
The other Troll landlady found
in her bed not an elf but a hound
She said that the Warg
Had been after this dawg (dog)
So frightened, he barked not a sound!!!
As decent lady she was known
In Elrond's garden she had grown
So bright her name,
her song and fame
Until she called a Troll her own!
The Garlic Bree Witch flies at night,
To give elven lads such a fright!
She swoops and saws
Pinching bums by the score,
Ahhh, 'tis such a marvelous sight!!!
Alas, a poor hobbit here came,
- or at least she's a hobbit in name -
and hung her sad head,
for they'd all gone to bed!
So she'll have a wee drink, in their name!
By Ekla, Yggy and BadWargMama of The Burping Troll - March 2002
Ekla Reuel
An old elf's only desire,
Is sipping booze by the fire.
He'll sit and he'll sing
From Summer till Spring,
With folk who come from the Shire.
February 2002
There once was a Warg, who appeared to be hard,
And really vicious, and quite nasty and mean.
In secret she penned,
rhymes which did not offend,
And on her poetry, we all were quite keen!!!
February 2002
The Ring Wraiths set forth on their steeds,
Around Middle Earth doing bad deeds,
They were after the Ring,
Or some daft trinket thing,
But under their cloaks they liked to wear beads.
And thinking of their garb that is black,
It's so tattered, 'cos a seamstress they lack,
So they sniff and they wheeze
As they ride in the breeze,
Cough, splutter, sneeze, blow, hem and hack!
There's one among them they call the Witch King,
He's so nasty, 'cos evils his thing,
He hunts Hobbits in the Shire,
But when he retires,
He'd like to professionally sing!
January 2002
Erin Rua
An Elf from far Mirkwood there came,
Legolas Greenleaf his name.
An Elf fears no man,
but his feminine fans
made a rush - and he fled whence he came!
January 2002
Gimli the Dwarf has an ax,
and orc-necks he joyously hacks.
With a Hi and a Ho,
off a-rolling they go!
"If they're slow, I'll take two at a whack!"
January 2002
Strider is not smooth and pretty,
nor in speech especially witty,
but worldly and wise,
with sharp keenness of eyes,
he is kingly enough for this ditty.
January 2002
Said Pippin to Merry and Sam,
"I'd be happy right here where I am,
with a smoke in my pipe
and my lip in a pint,
but those Wraiths made a bags of the plan!"
January 2002
Greene Lady
Nine Ladies who frequent this board
Decided to plot and to hoard
Their money so they
Could join in the fray
Of seeing the movie they all adored!
Idril Celebrindal
The companions after taking a poll
Decided through Moria to stroll
Though they did miss the sun
They had lots of fun
'Til Frodo got poked by a troll.
Theoden was a very wise king
Of his deeds we'll forever sing
He went off to battle
Got knocked from his saddle
And that was a very bad thing.
From the Stupid Ring Parody VI.6.
Lorellin
I am a Black Ringwraith - a Morgul,
A long time ago I was mortal,
With my black breath,
I will freeze you to death,
And sit back and have a good chortle.
February 2002
An Orc from Mordor
An orc from Mordor was sad...
cuz no one tho't he was bad ...
So he posted a thread
And then went to bed
And drove all the regulars mad.
From The Burping Troll - March 2002
Lorienelwyn
There once was a blond elven prince,
who'd look at all dwarves and then wince,
'Til a fine son of Glóin's
stirred up his elvish loins --
he's been dating him ever since!
January 2002
There once was a dwarf with a beard,
Who said it is just as I feared,
Two men and an elf,
Four hobbits, myself,
Have groupies -- isn't that weird?
January 2002
There once was a ranger named Strider,
though that nickname couldn't be snider.
Elrond's daughter he wanted,
and he said all undaunted,
"Like my horse I can't wait to ride her."
January 2002
Merithehobbit
Once there was an Elf from the wood,
He stood tall and fair, as all Elves should,
He wore a black bow,
and a full loaded quiver,
Made me shiver his smile was so good!
SilliMarilli
Our addiction from us you dare not rob it,
Or at your nose Sam's apple we'll lob it.
So let the walls ring with cheers
as we lift up our beers.
I christen this e-pub "The Randy Hobbit!"
February 2002
I must say I'm partial to Strider
Of the Nine to me he shines brighter
And yes though it's true
Wood's eyes fill with dew
I won't have to put Veeg in a diaper
January 2002
simbelmyne56
There once was a pony named Bill,
Left behind when they went through the hill.
Turned him out on the range
In a place that was strange
With the Wargs circling in for the kill.
Now, this could have been his death-knell,
Surrounded by creatures so fell.
But Bill was too savvy,
And he found Elrond's cavvy
In the pastures of sweet Rivendell.
The Burping Troll Crew
That Classic Hobbit Limerick
There once was a hobbit from Bree
Who sat on Celebsul's knee
She said with a grin
as she wiped off her chin,
Hey! that's not my bum that's my knee!
From The Burping Troll - March 2002
