(Idril)
<Scene: Outside Moria's West Gate>
Odd Narrator: In the midst of the company's grief for Gandalf, Aragorn forced them up to continue their journey..
Aragorn: SADDLE UP!
Frodo: WAAAAHHH!!! <whimper>
Aragorn: Let's go, Frodo! Unless you want to sit here and be supper for an orc.
Frodo: <SQUEAK> <hiccup!!> <ouch!!> <hiccup!!> <ouch!!>
Gimli: Here, Frodo. Come with me and I'll show you something that will make you feel better.
Sam: <Looks menacingly at Gimli and draws his blade>
Gimli: Not that, duh!
Frodo: Alright, where are we going?
Gimli: We're going to see the Mirrormere, the wonder of the Dimril Dale.
[They go over a small rise toward the lake. Sam follows.]
Frodo: I don't feel very well.
Gimli: C'mon, you won't want to miss this. <they arrive at Durin's stone and look over into the water> Behold!
Odd Narrator: They looked into the dark waters, which reflected the mountains at their back and lots of pretty lights like stars, even though it was just past noon.
Frodo: That's nice, but I still don't feel well.
Sam: Me neither.
Gimli: Don't you want to know about how Durin, the father of the dwarves, first looked into these waters when he awoke?
Frodo: Not really. I don't feel well.
Sam: Me neither.
Gimli: <huge sigh> Very well, we should go before the orcs come to eat us.
Frodo: <SQUEAK> <ouch!>
Odd Narrator: The company then travelled as quickly as they could beside the swift-flowing Silverlode toward the Golden Wood of Lothlorien. Golden wood... heheheheh.... I like that.
Entire company: <groan>
Odd Narrator: However Frodo and Sam kept falling behind.
Aragorn: Hey, keep up!
Frodo: I don't feel well!
Legolas: Yes, stop being whiners and run.
Sam: Me neither!
Boromir: Do you babies need to be carried?
Frodo: Listen here you you goatish mammering half-faced tickle brained fly-bitten <takes a breath>
Sam: rump-fed urchin-snouted guts-griping
Frodo: motley-minded knotty-pated plume-plucked
Sam: swag-bellied hedge-born elf-skinned
Frodo: ill-nurtured earth-vexing puttocks! I'm hurt!
Aragorn: You are?
Legolas: Elf-skinned?
Sam: Me too!
Frodo: You are?
Sam: Yes, I have a lump on my head the size of a tomato and I think I'm going to puke. <does so>
Aragorn: Oh! <a 20 watt bulb sizzles on over his head> You're hurt... like from the battle!
Frodo: Ding! Ding! Ding!
Odd Narrator: The company stopped in a sheltered spot and Aragorn examined the hobbits' injuries while Gimli built a fire.
Frodo: I don't understand why I have to strip completely naked for this.
Sam: Me neither, especially for a head injury.
Aragorn: Trust me, who's the doctor here!
Sam: Well, nobody.
Aragorn: Sh!
Gimli: OMUG! What's that?
Frodo: Mithril shirt. It kept me from getting killed by that orc chieftain.
Gimli: Oh. Okay.
Legolas: There was an orc chieftain?
Boromir: Apparently so.
Gimli: Sheesh! That was two chapters ago.
Boromir: Some people just can't let go of the past.
Aragorn: Alright, now where's that strawberry soap with the extra athelas?
Frodo and Sam: <groan>
(Idril and Bridget Chubb)
Odd Narrator: After Aragorn treated the hobbits' for their injuries (spongebath), the Fellowship continued on their journey. As they drew nearer to the Golden Wood, they lamented the loss of their beloved friend.
(Bridget Chubb)
Frodo: This is all your fault, Legolas. If you had just grabbed Gandalf before he fell...
Legolas: Hey, I'm not the one who wanted to go through Moria. This is all your fault, Frodo.
Frodo: Is not!
Legolas: Is too!
Frodo: Is not!
Legolas: Is too!
Frodo: Is not!
Legolas: Is too!
Frodo: It's Pippin's fault! Him and his stupid pebble...
Pippin: No, it's not! That was the narrator's idea! Anyway, it's Gimli's fault! Him and his stupid family reunion...
Gimli: Hey! Not all of us can eat dirt, Pippin. I just wanted to get a decent meal for once! You at least should understand that! Besides, it's obviously Aragorn's fault.
Aragorn: What? Why is it *my* fault?
Gimli: You're in charge now, buddy. That means that every time something bad happens, you're automatically to blame.
Aragorn: Hmph!
Merry: (to himself) I bet those dwarf-halls could be converted into great condos!
Sam: (quietly sobs)
Frodo: Sam? Are you okay? What's wrong?
Sam: Why don't you read the script, smartass...
Frodo: (reads script) Oh, I see, you're lamenting the loss of our beloved friend. It's all right, Sam. I miss him too. (gives Sam a brotherly, platonic hug) It's OK, just let it out.
Sam: (hiccup) (sob) P- poor Bill...why did I ever let him go?
(Thranduilion)
Odd Narrator: Sobbing and whimpering, the fellowship continued on their way.
Fellowship: trudgetrudgetrudgetrud-
Gimli: EXCUSE ME! Ahem.
Odd Narrator: What now?
Gimli: A DWARF does NOT whimper!!!
Legolas: What he said.
Odd Narrator: Okay, SOME of the fellowship was sobbing and whimpering as they continued on their way. Happy now?
Gimli: <sob> Wh-what? Oh. Thank you.
Fellowship: trudgetrudgetrudgetrudgetrudge
(Silarien)
Sting: S'lonely s'lonely s'lonely s'lonely
Beryl: Too right Sting, me and the Eagle Pin have been in our loveless marriage for miles. No romance at all. She's as stiff as a ... pin. I'm working on grounds for divorce.
Riding around on Aragorn is no fun either. He stinks! Much rather be snuggled up against Frodo's chest with Ringy. Soo, what grounds? Adultery? Hah, very unlikely. Non-consumation? Not while I'm in this position! Unreasonable behaviour. Now that seems a real possibility. 'Yes, Your Honour, she kept on saying I should be blue, like Frodo's eyes, not boring old green (she's got a point - oops, pun). Then she continually sings "You are the Thing Beneath My Wings", daft old tart.'
On the other hand, I could just kill the bitch. But how? Ringy, got any ideas?
Ring: Mmmm, have you heard of Mount Doom?
(Thranduilion)
Fellowship: trudgetrudgetrudgetrudgetrudge
(Russ)
Legolas: GasP!@
Gimili: What?
Legolas: It's the Golden Wood where summers never end and everyday is like the one before and the one after and nothing ever changes for ever and ever and ever!
Aragorn: Yipee! Yahoo! The golden wood! BOOYAH!
Legolas: Booyah indeed!
Gimili: Booyah?
Legolas: It's an Elvish thing, you wouldn't understand.
(Thranduilion)
Gimli: Elves grumblegrumble darkening world grumblegrumble
Boromir: Nuh uh, no way. I am NOT goin’ in there.
Aragorn: Wimp.
Frodo: What’s up?
Pippin: Boromir’s scared!
(Idril)
Pippin: What are you afraid of, Boromir?
Boromir (looking at his shoes): <mumble mumble>
Merry: What?
Boromir: <mumble mumbleress mumble>
Pippin: Huh? Speak up!
Boromir: THERE'S AN EVIL SORCERESS HERE!!
The Company: <SNORK!!!> HA HA HA HA!!!
(Thranduilion)
Pippin: Boromir’s SCARED! Ha ha, neener neener!
Boromir: Twerp. Fine, lead on, but don’t say I didn’t warn you!
(Silarien)
Bunny slippers: Nice trees. Good place to build a warren. Bunnies fancy some nooky? (YES x 8) [Hobbits start playing Twister]
(Thranduilion)
Odd Narrator: They trudged on for another mile or so before they came upon a stream. Legolas skipped across it, babbling about the healing properties of the waters of Nimrodel, and Aragorn was close behind. The rest followed more cautiously. They rested a while on the further bank, and Legolas continued babbling.
Legolas: And then after that happened, there was this . . .
Frodo: Uh, hark! What’s that I hear on the wind?
Legolas: Ah, you hear the voice of the river! I will sing you the song of Nimrodel -
All: <GROAN>
Legolas: <as if he has not heard> - though it would sound much better in our woodland tongue, you uncultured louts will only understand it if I sing in the Westron speech. It should not be too mangled even so.
<clears throat>
An Elven-maid there lived of old,
With elder sisters two;
Her shining hair in winter cold
She vainly plaited true.
A star she wore between the braids,
A fur-lined cloak above
Fair Nimrodel her sister-maids
Did oft with envy move.
Her sisters once upon her gazed
As under tree she lay;
They snickered long, noses upraised,
And planned cruel tricks to play
Beneath the golden mallorn tree
By falls of Nimrodel
The elder two crept quietly
To toss her in the well!
Where now the youngest is none know,
In sunlight or in shade:
For Nimrodel was banished so
E’en while the prank was played.
That dreadful day her elder kin
While envy shook their hearts
Each took an arm, and tossed her in
The roaring river parts.
A wind rose quickly from the deep
And up the roaring fall
Fair Nimrodel with anger steep
Soared high with dreadful call.
Her siblings trembled in their spot
For now they saw, too late -
Their little sister’s wrath was wrought
With power, and with hate.
The river rose to meet her cry,
And snatching up the two,
It flung them down and tossed them high
Their pranks all to redo.
“Oh, mercy!” cried the soggy pair
As helplessly they soared
Around, around in frosty air -
But Nimrodel was bored.
Her eyes flashed brightly, fierce and fell,
Like starlight dark and dank;
She turned away to end the spell,
And tarried on the bank.
They shivered thrice and crawled to her,
With fearful, trembling eyes.
She raised a hand, doom to declare;
A shriek rose in the skies!
Their mother came with shrieks most fell
And bold fist raised on high
“What did I tell you, Nimrodel?!
Get gone, come never nigh!”
Protesting long, the elven-maid
Did glare with visage fey.
But mother’s word was not unsaid;
She fumed and stalked away.
She traveled long: her deeds are now
By bards sung in the sun.
It is not here remembered how
Or if her story’s done.
For where she wanders none can tell
But all who follow, hark!
Learn from the Lay of Nimrodel
No fair one’s wrath to spark.
<The hobbits glance at each other.>
Frodo: Well, that was very inter . . .
Sam: You’re the baby of your family, aren’t you, Mr. Greenleaf?
Legolas: Wh-what makes you say that, Sam?
Pippin: <patting the elf on the shoulder> It’s okay. I understand completely.
Legolas: Don’t patronize me, you-! Just because *sniff* . . . that’s no reason to . . .*sniff* Augh, excuse me while I go climb a tree.
<He wanders off>
Merry: <snicker>
Pippin: <sigh>
Gimli: Hah! The sniveling lout. Now’s my chance to go bicker with him. I wonder if he’s in a bickering mood? <wanders off after Legolas>
(merithehobbit)
Odd Narrator: The Fellowship was surrounded by tall and beautiful Mellyrn trees. Legolas the miffed elf needed to have some private time. He climbed up the nearest Mellyrn and decided to save face:
Legolas: [climbing] I am going to just see if any branches are big enough to rest on... we need to rest out of sight of the Orcs that may pursue....
Voice from far above in the treetops: Dorko!
Other voices: Giggle, giggle, [stifled laughter]
Voice: OH.. I mean Daro!
Other voices: You're the Dorko!
Odd Narrator: Legolas froze.. for he had been commanded.. in a strange tongue something he hadn't recognized. He leapt to the ground and whispered to his friends.
Legolas: Stand still.. Do not move or speak!
(Russ, merithehobbit and Idril)
Voice from above: <snicker> Ellohay Egolaslay, atwhay areway ouyay oingday erehay?
Legolas: Ustjay assingpay oughthray onway ourway ayway otay Ordormay.
Merry: What the hell kind of language is that?
Aragorn: It is the ancient High Speech of the Elves!
Sam: Elves? Where?
Frodo: [ears perk up listening as the voices continue]
Merry: What do they want?
Frodo: Shh.. they are talking about some word I don't understand.
Legolas: Well, at first they were talking about boogers, but now they say that Aragorn smells so bad that they could shoot him in the dark! But do not fear! It is a smell they know well and they have many clothes pins!
Gimli: Boogers?
Legolas: Yes.. apparently they have been having a booger flicking contest and laughing at our expense for some time now.
Pippin: EEEEWWW... So that is what those little pebbles from the sky were..
Merry: Oh.. I thought the trees were pollenating.
Sam: Merry.. of course they aren't pollenating it is the dead of winter.
Aragorn: [smiles slightly] Ah.. a pastime I remember well. The booger flick.
Pippin: Remember? You do it constantly just walking along...
<cool elven rope ladder drops out of the trees>
Legolas: Here now.. I will go up this shimmery ladder and speak with them.. for they are Elves, and I am an Elf.. and we are cool and so above you.. so just a sec.
Odd Narrator: The Fellowship were in awe of Legolas and his confidence.. so changed from a few moments before.
Legolas: OK.. Mr. Narrator... just be quiet right now or I'll just pull a (thwip pffhft)...
Odd Narrator: Hey.. you just skewered my script!
Sam: Dang, he missed!
Voices: Ingbray ethay ittlelay ottiehay ithway ethay ueblay eyesway ootay!
Legolas: Come on up Frodo they want to see you too.
Sam: DON'T DO IT MR. FRODO SIR, REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED TO ME IN RIVENDELL!
<eight cool looking elven rope nooses drop down out of the tree>
Sam: Then again, maybe just this one time might not hurt.
[Legolas ran lightly up and disappeared into the leaves. Frodo and Sam followed slowly behind]
Sam: <covering his mouth> MFHTRHES skfsYskfj?
Frodo: What? I don't understand you with your mouth covered.. whoa.. wiggly rope!
Sam: Whispers.. this is hard to climb.. do you think they will drop more boogers on us?
Frodo: Shh..
Odd Narrator: [clears throat] Frodo and Sam arrived finally at a platform high in the tree.. called a flet. As Frodo poked his head through the hole he saw Legolas and three other elves who quickly stopped what looked suspiciously like flicking, and Welcomed Frodo.
(Idril)
Haldir: I am Haldir and these are my lovers.. I mean my brothers, Rumil and Orophin. You must be the group sent from Rivendell.
Frodo: We are. I'm Frodo, nice to meet you.
Haldir: Likewise! You must stay here tonight, for we believe that orcs will be coming this way soon. Tomorrow we shall take you to the Lord and Lady. How many are you and of what kind?
Legolas: There are eight of us altogether. Me, the dwarf Gimli, and the men Boromir and Aragorn.
Haldir: That is well, we have heard of Aragorn. And what are you, Frodo?
Frodo: I'm a virgin... I mean a hobbit. The rest of our party are hobbits.
Haldir: We've never seen hobbits before, what do you do?
Frodo: Oh nothing much. I'm independantly wealthy, Sam here is a gardener, and my cousin Pippin is heir to the Thain.
Haldir: That makes seven. What of the other?
Frodo: That would be my cousin Merry. He's a real estate developer.
Haldir: GASP!!
Rumil: Hatway?
Haldir: Anway Entrepreneaurway!!!
Orophin: GASP! Amwayway?
Rumil: Orway onephay ardscay?
Haldir: Onay, onay, ealray estateway.
Rumil and Orophin: GASP!!!
Haldir: I'm terribly sorry, but we must kill your kinsman Merry.
Frodo: Oh no!!
Haldir: We can't allow a real estate developer to see our lovely land. Think of the consequences!
Frodo: Well what if you blindfolded him? Then he wouldn't see anything.
Haldir: Hmmmm..... that's an idea. Let me consult with my lovers... I mean my brothers. <turns to the other elves> Frodo ayssay eway ouldcay indfoldblay ethay entrepreneurway insteadway ofway illingkay imhay.
Rumil: Erhapspay eway ouldcay okepay outway ishay eyesway insteadway?
Haldir: Iway on'tday inkthay Frodo ouldway agreeway otay atthay. Eythay areway ousinscay.
Orophin: Iway upposesay away indfoldblay ouldway ebay alrightway.
Haldir: Very well! It is agreed. The hobbits shall stay with us. Legolas, you can take the rest of the party to next flet over. We shall keep a sharp eye on that entrepreneur!
Bring your daughter to work day narrator: Okay, so where do I start? <giggle> Oh, okay. So the hobbits tried to go to sleep up in the flet but they were scared they'd do a nosedive off and Sam said something funny and then they went to sleep and then Frodo heard orcs and then Frodo heard some creepy guy crawling up the tree and then they woke up and had some breakfast and then Pippin complained about the elves trying to grab his bum and then they crossed the river using some ropes and then Sam said something funny, the end.
Haldir: We've reached Lothlorien proper. Now we must blindfold Merry, as we agreed last night.
Merry: Excuse me?
Frodo: Oh... heheheh... I forgot to mention that.
Merry: Blindfold me? Get outta town!
Haldir: No really. We cannot allow a real estate developer to see our beautiful land.
Merry: <draws his blade> Over my dead body!
Haldir: Alright if you insist. <elves draw bows>
Merry: Oooops! <puts blade away> But this is unfair!
Gimli: Come on Merry, stop being stubborn.
Merry: Oh, Master Dwarf is defending the elves?! I thought you all were supposed to hate each other.
Haldir: Oh, that's right, I forgot. Better blindfold the dwarf too.
Gimli: Hey!
Frodo: What, are you going to blindfold everyone?
Haldir: Good idea.
Aragorn: Except me of course, I'm engaged to the Lady's grandaughter.
Legolas: Or me, I'm a kinsman here.
Haldir: Alright, we'll blindfold everyone except Aragorn and Legolas.
Pippin: That's not fair! I'm very small and harmless, why do I have to have a blindfold?
Boromir: It's a trick to make it easier for the sorceress to steal our souls.
Aragorn: Is not! <pfff>
Frodo: Well I don't care. Since I got stabbed by the wraiths I can see through blindfolds anyway.
Sam: I'd rather not wear one. I might get dizzy and throw up again. <shows Haldir his head bump>
Legolas: You'd better blindfold Pippin. He's not as harmless as he looks... his jaw unhinges.
Pippin: How about we gag Legolas?
Gimli: So I don't get this, we're supposed to wear blindfolds but we get to keep our weapons?
Boromir: Doesn't make sense, does it?
<an hour later>
Aragorn: Alright, we all agree to be blindfolded as long as Legolas gets a gag too.
Haldir: Deal! [whips out blindfolds and ties up everyone's eyes before they can change their minds]
[Haldir leads the company through the Golden Wood.]
<trudgetrudgetrudgetrudge>
Sting: <sings>
You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Beneath the trees of mallorn
You'll forget the sun in her jealous sky
As we walk through leaves of gold
So she took her love for to gaze awhile
Beneath the trees of mallorn
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the leaves of gold
Anduril: Sting, how do you do that?
Sting: What?
Anduril: Think of all those clever things to sing?
Sting: Oh, those are songs from the pop star Sting. I don't really make them up. I just change them around a bit.
Anduril: Cool! I want to do that!
Sting: There's no pop star named Anduril, sorry.
Anduril: Can't I use Sting?
Sting: No! Duh!
Anduril: Well isn't there some other pop star should I use?
Sting: Let's see. What does your name mean?
Anduril: Flame of the West.
Sting: Flame... West... Flaming? I suppose you could chose a gay pop star, that would work.
Anduril: ??
Sting: But for really "flaming" you'd have to pick either Boy George... or Elton John.
Anduril: What do they sing?
Sting: Hmmmm... Here's one from Boy George:
Karma Karma Karma Karma Karma Chameleon
You come and go
You come and go
Loving would be easy
If your colours were like my dream
Red, gold and green
Red, gold and green
Every day is like survival
You're my lover not my rival
Anduril: It doesn't really sound appropriate. I'm a fighter, not a lover.
Sting: True. He doesn't really have any other hits, either. Okay here's one from Elton John:
Don't give us none of your aggravation
We had it with your discipline
Saturday night's alright for fighting
Get a little action in
Get about as oiled as a diesel train
Gonna set this dance alight
`Cause Saturday night's the night I like
Saturday night's alright alright alright
Anduril: Oh! I like that one!
Sting: Good choice. He has tons of material to choose from, and he's a knight! Perfect for a famous blade like yourself. A little internet search for lyrics and you be set!
Anduril: Thanks Sting, you're the best!
Sting:
Now you can join the ranks of the illustrious
In history's great dark hall of fame
All our greatest killers were industrious
At least the ones that we all know by name
Anduril: Hmmm.... search search.... oh goodie!
Your sister can't twist but she can rock and roll
Your sister can't twist but she's got more soul than meee-he!
(Idril)
[The party meets some other elves, who consult with Haldir]
Haldir: The Lord and Lady have sent word. Apparently there has been more news from Rivendell. They know of your number and kinds and have ordered that you all should walk free. Even you, Master Entrepreneur.
[Haldir removes the blindfolds from the companions]
Haldir: Behold! The land of Lothlorien!
Odd Narrator: The company's patience was rewarded by the sight of the great green mound of Cerin Amroth, crowned in golden-leaved mallorn.
Haldir: You may gape at the beauty of our land for a while. We will continue to the city of the Galadrim at dusk.
Frodo: <gape>
Sam: <gape>
Merry: <gape> <begins thinking of development schemes>
Pippin: <gape> <stomach growls>
Legolas: <gape!!!!> <wonders if there's any elf-maidens about>
Gimli: <gape> <then realizes it's just stupid trees> <scowl>
Boromir: <gape> <tries to figure out if evil sorceress has stolen his soul yet>
Aragorn: <no gaping> Seen it!
Haldir: Yes, there's no land more beautiful than Lothlorien! Thank goodness it's protected by a very powerful, very very VERY secret power that I'm not allowed to mention at all! If you're finished gaping here, Frodo, I can take you to the top of the hill for a bit. There's more to gape at there!
[Frodo follows Haldir up the hill. Sam follows Frodo.]
Haldir: Behold! You can see the beautiful tree city of Caras Galadon from here. See it shimmering? That light is caused by the very very very very secret power that keeps our valley safe from the outside world. That way over yonder <points to the South> is the outside world... blecchhk! And over there <points to NNE> is where the Shadow used to be... before it moved over that away <points to SE> But as you can see the original Shadow place <NNE again> is still relatively shadowy.
Sam: What is the secret power?
Haldir: Who told you about that?
Sam: You did. Just now.
Haldir: I never! You must be a spy. Who invited you up here anyway?
Frodo: Where I go, he goes.
Haldir: Well no matter! If you're a spy then you will soon be exposed. No evil can remain hidden from our Lady because of her very very very secret, very powerful power.
Frodo: So the secret power is associated with the Lady?
Haldir: <gapes> She sent word that there was one in your party that would have a very very secret burden of his own, like but unlike her own power! It must be true... for nothing can be hidden from you!
Frodo: Oh... okay so she's got a ring.
Sam: No doubt.
Haldir: <gape>
Odd Narrator: After Haldir recovered from his shock, they returned to the foot of the hill, where Merry and Pippin were enjoying the lovely surroundings.
(FrodoPippinSam)
Merry: (nods, points, nods, nods)
Frodo: (taps him on the shoulder) Can I help you Merry?
Merry: (Startled) Huh? I wasn't doing anything, I was jsut looking at the pretty-- oh! Frodo it's you! You scared the living bejeepers outta me!
Frodo: You weren't trying to turn this lovely place into something other than what it is, were you? I know little big ideas form in that head of your's Merry Brandybuck and none of you development schemes will be used here.
Sam: (standing behind Frodo) I agree. Mr. Merry maybe they should have kept you blindfolded so we knew for sure nothing was going on.
Merry: I wasn't doing anything, honestly! was I Pip?
Pippin: Huh? You said you were going to turn this place into an amuzment park where there would be waterslides, food,---
Merry: PIPPIN!!!!!!!!!
Pippin: Frodo and Sam weren't suposed to know?
Merry: (gives him a menacing glance)
Pippin: Oh, Frodo, cousin, buddy, just disreguard what I said. i was just teasing.
Frodo: Teasing indeed.
Sam: Come along Merry, I think we best warn Mr. Haldir.
Merry: No! no! don't do that! I promise I'll be good!
Frodo: (whispering to Sam) He'll stop forming real estate ideas when Pippin decides that a diet sounds like a good idea and that it is stupid to eat all of 6 meals a day!
Pippin: I heard that!
Sam: I don't mean to be disrespectful, but we are all idiots being that the rest of the group is gone and we are all standing around bickering!
Frodo: Oh! Come on, let's go this way, We'll find them one way or another!
Merry: (under his breath) That would be a great rollercoaster.
Tired Narrator: And the hobbits scurried off and found the rest of the fellowship who hadn't even noticed *yawn* that they were missing.
(Idril)
Odd Narrator: As they were scurrying, the hobbits saw Aragorn standing alone with an elanor blossom in his hand, looking pensive.
Aragorn: Oh my pookey snookie sweetums! How I miss thee!
Odd Narrator: The hobbits were very surprised to see him with such an odd, pensive expression. Aragorn was so rarely pensive.
Aragorn: <SIGH>
Odd Narrator: Actually he was the most un-pensive person Frodo and Sam had ever encountered. He rarely looked as if he was thinking of anything beyond his next meal. In fact, you know that blank, dead-eyed stare that professional boxers get when they've been in the business too long? Well that's Aragorn's usual expression. He's just not a pensive person.
Aragorn: Hey, I heard that! When I get to be king, you are SO fired!
Odd Narrator: In any case, as the sun set, Haldir led the company on to the City of the Galadrim. Aragorn let the blossom fall from his fingers (resumed his normal un-pensive expression) and left the hill... never to return again as living man.
Aragorn: Oh crud!
Odd Narrator: Alright, he rushed back to grab his forgotten pack. THEN he left the hill, never to return again as living man.