Prologue

(RUSSELLBor)

1. Concerning Frivolity

This script is largely concerned with frivolity, and from its pages the reader will most likely discover nothing important at all. You can try and find the meaning of life, or deep insights into the works of Tolkien, but really it would be quite pointless as the principle reason for this work is to give a lot of people with way too much free time something pointless and fun to do.

Many may wish to know more about the characters, the lands, the history and lore of Middle earth. Suffice to say that you will not find it here! There are no meaningful allegories, pithy sayings or sage wisdom in these words. What one is much more likely to find are silly song parodies, endless double entendre, and the questionable deviant ramblings of a boat load of delinquent fans who truly love Middle Earth and have chosen to show that love by gleefully ravaging such a wonderful story without guilt, remorse, discretion and very little good taste! All of the original characters are here of course, as well as a few of our own not the least of which are Barmaids, talking swords and jewelry, and the odd, angry, pompous and marginally sane narrators.

2. Concerning Wood

It is not the intention of any of us to provoke, anger or otherwise offend anyone. But that is not to say that our little narrative shall be entirely P.C. It is our most earnest desire that those who read this do so in the vein in which it is intended, FUN! We shall avoid profanity and strive valiantly to keep that which is vulgar to a tolerable level, but be forewarned, one persons vulgarity is another's radio talk-show format! What has this to do with wood? Don't ask! If you decide to read the "script", you'll find out soon enough!

3. Concerning Finally

Finally: At the time of this writing, we are not yet quite through the first book of the trilogy. What the future holds, none can say. But this much I know; we are each of us grateful for the participation of all, and for the hard work of those who have toiled long and for no pay, (for we are nothing if not cheap!). There has been much cutting and pasting, copying and editing, and even as I write, there is rewriting going on. These are folk who are engaged in a labor of love and who are possessed of a singular lack of sanity, but great heart! Our thanks to them one and all. (WE and YOU know who you are!) And now, for those who would choose to continue, these are my last words: The reader is setting out on the Quest of Frivolity. On you alone is any charge laid: neither to take us seriously, nor to be offended in either thought or word. You may linger over a favorite passage, or give it up altogether, or jump in and add a passage of your own as chance allows. But know this, the deeper that you go, the harder it will be to retain your reason! For you do not yet know the depravity of the minds that you will meet upon your road.

So, sit back and relax with your favorite bowl of pipeweed and a pint or three of ale and please, if you can't laugh with us, then at least laugh at us! And if, after all that has just been said, there are those of you who are still offended, then I would just like to say:Pthwwwwwwwwwwwwwttttt! GET OVER IT!