(Bridget Chubb)
Frodo: Pip, you already had naked time today, lets all get off to bed.
Sam: Really?
Merry: Sam! Sleep, remember it is something you do at night too.
[They all go off to their own separate beds and poor Frodo has a scary dream about the wind and the sea and a far off tower when.......]
Frodo: AAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!
Sam: Mr. Frodo! Mr. Frodo, wake up!
Frodo: AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHH!
Sam: Mr. Frodo!!
Frodo: AAAAAAAAUUUUUU-ow!
[Sam has pushed Frodo onto floor in effort to wake him]
Sam: Heh heh...oopsie.
Frodo: [starts crawling toward Sam with murderous gleam in eye]
Pippin: [oblivious to Frodo's plan to kill Sam, runs between them and helps Frodo to his feet] Frodo! What's wrong? Did you have a bad dream?
Sam: A bad dream? Was that barmaid in it? Boy, if she's invading your dreams now too...
Frodo: (quickly) No, no, the barmaid was NOT in my dream! I'm telling you, there was NOTHING between us, and she is NOT following us! Now...uh...shouldn't you be making our breakfast, Samwise?
Sam: Oh, yes, of course, Mr. Frodo. (quietly) That barmaid...I don't know about her. Well, I'll kill her if she tries anything.
Pippin: Breakfast? Yippee! What's for breakfast, Sam?
Sam: (gleefully) Taters!
Frodo: (moaning to himself) Not again...
Merry: (enters bedroom) Good morning! (cheerfully) You woke Fatty up with all your screaming, Frodo, and now he's in a bad mood. Better be careful or he might "accidentally" sit on you and squash you! Well, we'd better get ready to go!
(IdrilCelebrindal)
[Scene: The four usual hobbits riding through the Old Forest]
Merry (loudly): Yes, most of these trees will have to come down. The new expressway will be going through this way <waves hand> It'll make a loop from the bridge, over the Withywindle and then down toward Haysend, then back over the Brandywine where it'll hook up with the old road in Deephallow.
Trees: [Loom]
Merry (continuing loudly): That'll open up this whole area. First we're going to put in Brandybuck Mall right in this area, here.
Trees: [LOOM]
Merry (still rather loudly): Then I think Withywindle Estates is next, that'll be the pricey homes by the river.
Trees: [LOOM!!!!]
Frodo: Merry?
Merry: Yes Frodo?
Frodo: Shut up!
(FrodoPippinSam)
Merry: Why? I didn't think it was that boring, rather exciting really I--
Sam: (Puts a hand on either side of Merry's face and shows him the looming trees)(Under his breath but so Merry can hear) That's why Mr. Merry.
(Silarien)
Tom:
Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!
Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow!
Old Man Willow:
I! Hate! Tom! Bombadil! The next thing that comes along
get's turned into jello!!!!!!
(IdrilCelebrindal)
OM Willow: Come this way.
Pippin: Let's go this way!
Merry: No that's the wrong...
OM Willow: Yes, come this way.
Merry: ... I mean right, yes, that's the right way.
OM Willow: To the river.
Frodo: Let's go to the river.
OM Willow: That's a good idea.
Sam: That's a good idea.
Frodo: Finally, we found the river!
OM Willow: Time for a nap.
Pippin: I'm sleepy, let's take a nap.
Merry: Yes, a nap would be great.
OM Willow: Here's a good place for a nap.
Frodo: This looks like a lovely place for a nap.
[M & P & F settle down for a nap under the Willow.]
OM Willow: Pippin had a great idea, a nap would be wonderful.
Sam: Pippin had a great idea... Huh? Pippin had a great idea?!?! HEY! WHAT AM I SAYING!
OM Willow: Uh oh... went a little too far there, huh? No matter! [SNAP] [SNAP] [SPLASH]
Frodo: [burble burble]
(Silarien)
[Sam pulls Frodo out of the water and tries to light a fire under the tree while Frodo rushes down the path waving his hands in the air. He meets Tom, who comes striding to the rescue.]
Tom:
Hey dong! ding a ling! fal lal the willow! Bad bark! nasty twigs! scrub his roots with Brillo! Ping pong! tral-la-la! look me boots are yellow! They'll stamp willow man! Tom's a heavy fellow!
Old man willow: Okay - OKAY. Here, have the friggin' hobbits. Just SHUT TF UP!
(IdrilCelebrindal)
Ring: Oh, man! Too bad, I thought you had the little rat drowned. That was really nice hypnosis work.
OM Willow: Why thank you! Drop by again sometime, I'll give you some pointers.
Ring: Super! Nice meeting you!
OM Willow: My pleasure!
(BunnieBugs)
(Merry and Pippin are thrown out of the willow, which then snaps shut.)
Hobbits: Thank you!!
TB: (laughing) Well, little fellows, you shall come home with me! Goldberry's waiting and the table is laden. Come along! (singing) Hey! come derry dol! Can you hear me singing?
Sam: (whispering) How could we not hear him singing?
Merry: I don't know about this. He's a little...um...over the top, don't you think?
Pippin: Aw, c'mon! He's got food waiting for us!
Frodo: Merry's got a point, though, Pip.
Sam: Beggin' your pardon, Mr. Frodo, but couldn't we just quietly sneak away? Maybe he'd never miss us.
Merry: Please, Frodo? I mean, those boots!
Frodo: Well, I think we'd better follow him. After all, he did save you, and all. And he seems harmless enough.
Sam: All right, Mr. Frodo, but I don't think I can take too much more of that singing, if you don't mind me saying so.
(The hobbits follow after Bombadil, as the sound of his nonsensical singing drifts into the distance)
(IdrilCelebrindal)
[Hobbits follow the nonsense singing to Tom's house as evening falls.]