The Fellowship of the Ring (Movie)
"I didn't hear anything important, just something about pants, and a pants lord ..."
-- BroadswordChick
Elrond: "Strangers from distant lands. You will unite or pants will fall."
-- lotriscool00 (MOVIE QUOTE WINNER)
Aragorn: "You have my pants."
Legolas: "And you have my bow."
Gimli: "And my axe."
-- lotriscool00
Elrond: "Indeed it is hardly possible to separate you, even when he is invited to a secret pantsing and you are not!"
-- IdrilCelebrindal
Frodo, "Whats the elvish word for pants?" Gandalf, "Melon."
-- Ltblb 9/13/02
Galadriel: "I know what you saw in the pants Frodo, For it is in my mind too..."
-- Matthew
Galadriel: "You will find your pants. Even the smallest person can change the course of the future."
-- lotriscool00
Saruman: You are my fighting pants.
-- Gr8edGouda
Legolas: "I feel a shadow and a threat growing in my pants."
-- IdrilCelebrindal
The Hobbit
"Curse it! Curse it!" hissed Gollum. "Curse the Baggins! It's gone! What has it got in its pocketses? Oh we guess, we guess, my precious. He's found it, yes he must have. My birthday-pants."
-- Elrond4873 (Corrected by Idril)
The Lord of the Rings
Three pants for the Elven-kings under the sky
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die
One for the Dark Lord under his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie
One Pants to rule them all, One Pants to find them
One Pants to bring them all and in darkness bind them
In the Land of Morder where the Shadows lie
-- LeGolas154
A Long-Expected Party
'You're right, Dad!' said the Gaffer. 'Not that the Brandybucks of Buckland live in the Old Pants; but they're a queer breed, seemingly. They fool about with pants on that big river-- and that isn't natural. Small wonder that trouble came of it, I say.'
-- LillyOfRivendell
A Shadow of the Past
Gandalf: There is only one way: to find the Cracks of Pants in the depths of Orodruin, the Fire-mountain, and cast the Ring in there, if you really wish to destroy it, to put it beyond the grasp of the Enemy forever.
-- lydoss
Three is Company
"Do not meddle in the pants of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger."
-- FinrodFan (SECOND PLACE WINNER)
The Old Forest
Looking ahead they could see only pants of innumerable sizes and shapes: straight or bent, twisted, leaning, squat or slender, smooth or gnarled and branched; and all the pants were green or grey with moss and slimy, shaggy growths.
-- LillyOfRivendell
The Sign of the Prancing Pants
-- Celebsul
"Our names and our pants are our own, and this does not seem a good place to discuss them", said Frodo, not liking the man or the tone of his voice.
-- BroadswordChick (corrected by Idril)
"Hobbits!", he cried. "Now what does that remind me of? Might I ask your names sir?"
"Mr. Took and Mr. Brandybuck," said Frodo; "and this is Sam Gamgee. My name is Underpants."
-- therifferoo (FIRST PLACE WINNER)
"Presently he slipped out of the pants, followed by the squint-eyed southerner; the two had been whispering together a great deal during the evening."
-- Sevilodorf
Frodo leaned back against the wall and took off the pants.
-- Sevilodorf
Flight to the Ford
And the leader, who was now half across the Ford, stood up menacing in his stirrups, and raised up his pants. Frodo was stricken dumb.
-- IdrilCelebrindal
Many Meetings
Frodo: Who made the pants?
Gandalf: Elrond commanded it.... If you may say so I added a few touches of my own...
-- galadrigal
"It's warm!" said Sam. "Meaning your pants, Mr Frodo. It has felt so cold through the long nights."
-- RMilesSex
The Council of Elrond
"The change in the wizard's pants was astounding. Suddenly it became menacing, powerful, harsh as stone. A shadow seemed to pass over the high sun, and the porch for a moment grew dark."
-- Narsilia
The Bridge of Khazad-Dum
"'We drove out pants from the great gate and guard' - I think; the next word is blurred and burned; probably 'pants - we slew many in the bright' - I think -'pants in the dale. Floi was killed by an arrow. He slew the pants.' Then there is a blur followed by 'Floi underpants near Mirror mere.' The next line or two I cannot read. Then comes 'We have taken the pants of North end to dwell in. There is' I cannot read what. A 'pants' is mentioned. Then 'Balin has set up his pants in the Chamber of Mazarbul.'"...
"Well I can read no more for a long way," said Gandalf, "except the word 'pants', and 'Durin's pants' and something 'pants'. Then 'Balin is now lord of pants.' That seems to end a chapter. After some stars another hand begins and I can see 'we found pants' and later the word 'pants', and then something, I have it! 'Pants!'"
-- TZHorvath (GRAND PRIZE WINNER)
'We cannot leave you to hold the door alone!' said Aragorn.
'Do as I say! said Gandalf. Pants are no more use here!' 'Go!'
-- LeGolas154
'You cannot pass,' said Gandalf. The orcs stood still and a dead silence fell. 'I am a servant of the Secret Pants, wielder of the the flame of Anor. You cannot pass. The dark pants will not avail you, flame of Udun. Go back to the Shadow!. You cannot pass.'
The Balrog made no answer. The fire in its pants seemed to die, but the darkness grew.
-- LeGolas154
Lothlorien
"Out of the shadows pants were let down: it was were made of rope, silver-grey and glimmering in the dark, and though it looked slender it proved strong enough to bear many men..."
-- Dernhelm1
Gimli drew his pants from his belt. Haldir and his companions bent their bows. "A plague on Dwarves and their stiff pants!" said Legolas.
-- LeGolas154
The Mirror of Galadriel
"Did you not say that you wished to see Elf-pants?"
"I did," said Sam, trembling a little between fear and curiosity. "I'll have a peep, Lady, if you're willing."
-- RMilesSex
She lifted up her hand and from the pants that she wore there issued a great light that illumined her alone and left all else dark.
-- IdrilCelebrindal
Sam to Galadriel: "But if you'll pardon my speaking out, I think my master was right. I wish you'd take his pants."
-- IdrilCelebrindal
Lorien
"Are these magic pants?" asked Pippin, looking at them with wonder.
"I do not know what you mean by that," answered the leader of the Elves.
-- AFGriffith
The Uruk-Hai
Dimly they were aware of Grishnakh's great head and hideous face between them; his foul breath was on their cheeks. He began to paw them and feel them. Pippin shuddered as hard cold fingers groped down his pants.
-- IdrilCelebrindal
Treebeard
Before long they set off. Treebeard carried the hobbits in his pants as he did the previous day.
-- IdrilCelebrindal
The White Rider
"Saruman!," cried Gimli, springing towards him with axe in hand. "Speak! Tell us where you've hidden our pants!"
-- Tlbomar
The King of the Golden Pants
"Here I must bid you lay aside your pants before you enter."
-- RMilesSex
"Take back your pants, Eomer, sister-son" said the king. "Go, Hama and seek my own pants! Grima has it in his keeping."
-- IdrilCelebrindal
Helm's Deep
"'What does that mean?' said one of the guards to Hama.
'That Gandalf Greyhame has need of pants.'"
-- LillyOfRivendell
Flotsam and Jetsam
Gimli took some and rubbed it in his palms and sniffed it. "It feels good, and it smells good" he said.
"It is good" said Merry. "My dear Gimli, it is Longbottom pants!"
-- IdrilCelebrindal
'They pushed, pulled, tore, shook, and hammered; and clang-bang, crash-crack, in five minutes they had these huge pants just lying in ruin; and some were already beginning to eat into the pants, like rabbits in a sand-pit.'
-- LillyOfRivendell
The Passage of the Marshes
'Stop chattering!' cried Frodo... 'Are you trying to tell yourself you've got some pants in your pocket?'
-- Araedhel
The Black Gate is Closed
'Good master, wise master, nice master!' cried Gollum in delight, patting Frodo's pants. 'Good master! Then rest now, nice pants, under the shadow of the stones, close under the stones! Rest and lie quiet till the Yellow Pants goes away. Then we can go quickly. Soft and quick as pants we must be!'
-- Matthew
The Window on the West
Sam: "...and it's my opinion that in Lorien he first saw clearly what I guessed sooner: what he wanted. From the moment he first saw it, he wanted the Enemy's Pants!"
-- RMilesSex
The Choices of Master Samwise
As if his indomitable spirit had set its potency in motion, the pants blazed suddenly like a white torch in his hand. It flamed like a star that leaping from the firmanent sears the dark air with intolerable light. No such terror out of the heavens had ever burned in Shelob's pants before.
-- LeGolas154 (WINNER -- SAM-ISNT-GAY-DAMMIT AWARD)
He stooped. Very gently he undid the clasp at the neck and slipped his hand inside Frodo's pants...
-- RMilesSex (HONORABLE MENTION -- MOST HOMOEROTIC ENTRY)
The Muster of Rohan
"I will be ready," said Merry, "even if you bid me ride with you on the Pants of the Dead."
-- aragornelfstar13
Dernhelm: "I will bear you before me, under my pants, until we are far afield.... Say no more to any man but come."
-- Sevilodorf
The Siege of Gondor
"Suddenly as they talked they were striken dumb, frozen as it were to listening stones. Pippin cowered down with his hands pressed to his pants...."
-- RangerAslan
The Battle of the Pellenor Fields
A cold voice answered: "Come not between the Nazgul and his pants..."
-- Scrywhnnkd
For once more the lust of battle was upon him; and he was still unpantsed, and he was young, and he was king; the lord of a fell people.
-- IdrilCelebrindal
The Pyre of Denethor
"So!" cried Denethor. "Thou hads't already stolen half my son's pants. Now thou stealest the pants of my knights also..."
-- RMilesSex
And it was said that ever after, if any man looked in that Stone, unless he had a great strength of will to turn it to other purpose, he saw only a pair of aged pants withering in the flame.
-- IdrilCelebrindal
The Houses of Healing
"Then in the name of the king, go and find some old man of less lore and more wisdom who keeps pants in his house!" cried Gandalf.
-- Tlbomar
And then he cast the pants into the bowls of steaming water that were brought to him, and at once all hearts were lightened.
-- IdrilCelebrindal
The Last Debate
"Up with your pants, Durin's son!" Aragorn said. "For thus is it spoken: Oft hope is born, when all is forlorn."
-- therifferoo
Gimli to Legolas: "For the faces of Aragorn and Gandalf are grave. Much I wonder what counsels they are taking in the pants there below."
-- therifferoo
Mount Doom
And sometimes his right hand would creep to his pants, clutching, and then slowly, as the will recovered mastery, it would be withdrawn.
-- IdrilCelebrindal
"Stinker picked up that orc-shirt, seemingly, and he isn't going to add a sword to it. His hands are bad enough when empty. And he isn't going to mess with my pants!" With that he carried all the agear away to one of the many gaping fissures that scored the land and threw them in. The clatter of his precious pants as they fell down into the dark was like a death-knell to his heart.
-- IdrilCelebrindal
Many Partings
"Then all the more reason to have left sooner," said Saruman; "for I desire neither of him. Indeed if you wish for and answer to your first question, I am seeking a way out of his pants."
-- aragornelfstar13
The Scouring of the Pants
"And it will be pleasant to think of that and set it against my pants."
"Well, if that is what you find pleasure in," said Frodo, "I pity you."
-- RMilesSex
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